Tu me manque beaucoup

Have you ever wondered that soneone came to your life, touched your soul, made you realize what's worth in you.  That person made you see that you can  do a lot more than what you can achieve now.  That person helped you take the first frightening step, helped you feel alright.  That person showed you which way you could take.   The one making you feel so blessed. Far from your eyes, but close to your heart.

The moment has gone, but the mark stays...forever

After more than six months

Six months have passed since the first day I got into my present office.  I start to get the hang of my job.  I don't suffer from being alienated by the world of the academics any longer.  I get used to seeing things from bigger perspectives.  I feel stronger.  Though sometimes I still feel worried about my friends in my former place, but I can manage my feelings better.  Much much better.  I relate with more people from different sections.  Not easy, though.. but not hard either.  I expand my wings.
Since the very beginning I always tell myself that there must be a light in all this darkness I feel.  God has His own agenda towards me.  I know it now.
Alhamdulillah.
I am aware that this is not the happy ending of the story.  The journey still goes on. But I have more faith in me now.
Allah is ALWAYS kind.

And the place will never be the same again

About eight months ago, when we both were assessed for a job promotion, I wondered.  What if you were the chosen one? What if it was me? Would things be the same?
Going through hard times together, I learned what it is like to work with all males.  Been knowing for quite some time that you might leave anytime soner or later.  Still, when the time really comes, I am not ready. 
I hate the words 'if only...'  I hate regretting things.  But it's really hard to not think about those words right now.
Some thoughts that can ease my mind now are:
That I didn't know what would happen in the future, and that you would be much happier outside there.
I wish u success, I truly do.

My new orange tab

I am such an impulsive buyer when it comes to gadgets.  I knew that.  That's why i always warn myself each time i start to get lured by the new version of gadgets.  Lately, i've been refraining myself from buying the latest version of android smartphone.  I kept telling myself that my present android phone is still smart enough and buying the new (and of course expensive) one is just a waste of money.  Once, i almost gave up.  It was when my hb couldn't reach the normal range eventhough i already went through iron transfusion and ate more.  I was pissed after reading the lab result and directly went to the mall (anak mall bgt gw ya).
On the other side of the story.  Starting from the release of a new type of gadget called tablet, i have never been interested in buying one.  For me, i'd rather buy high spec laptop or smartphone than a tablet.  Until one day...
Things got dusgusting at the office and i felt i need to distract myself from all negative feelings and thoughts caused by things happened at the office.  Reading is a good escape.  I don't need to disturb anybody to listen to me venting my emotions.  Anyway i think some stuff cannot be shared.  Then i started to take my unfinished novels.  Until then.... i realized i have many ejournals and ebooks i haven't read.  Actually i can read them in my android phone...but it's too small.  That was exactly the time when i thought buying a tablet is a good option.
First i only wanted to browse.  I asked my brother to drive me to a gadget outlet that night (i got the idea in the afternoon).  But he said, "Halaaaah beli aja langsung"
We went there,.. and yes...i bought it...heheee.
And right...this new tablet is a really-really nice distractor.  I can do loads with it.  Well...it's an impulsive buying, but useful.  Don't you think? :-)