RESIGNATION

A friend of mine is resigning from our institution.
I got this news from D few days ago.
It shocked me.
no signs...no clues...
no complaints...
Well, i mean...usually you can predict if someone plans to resign from his/her job when he/she sometimes or often complains about his/her job.
I never heard such thing from him...
Well, yes... first, maybe because I am not working in the same department with him. Second, he is indeed quiet...(banyak omong nya cuma di kaset or CD)
I was really surprised...though I could guess the reason why...
Two days ago i happened to have him online. I asked him about the news. He told me where he's going and the reasons.
Honestly...i was really uneasy to get this news. It's not because we're going to lose contact or something. It's about me....
Why am I staying?
Can I do what he is doing now?
Should I ? or shouldn't I?
Can this institution still be the place where I could realize the dreams of my professional life?
or at least accommodate my self-actualization needs?
So many questions in my head...

And at the moment, I know exactly that at least two more friends of mine are considering doing the same thing...
Though i don't know yet their decision...I'm wondering...



P.S.
"wish you success om...
keep in touch!"

I am thankful that I'm a woman

There are times when you have to face a certain course of life and find it hard to deal with coz you cannot do anything about it. But still, you need to express what you feel inside, otherwise you will go insane or at least off control.
For me, i would cry as hard as I can...until my eyesight is blurred, until i'm tired and falls asleep.
As far as I know, this usually goes to women...maybe not all...well, i guess most women do...or at least women like me...
I'm thankful I still can cry...
I'm thankful that I'm a woman
(not really sure which one should come first)

My Friday off

Starting this month, I am free from office every friday. This is actually part of my negotiation with my boss last term. It's been two Fridays so far, and I think I start to really enjoy my being away from office's hustle and bustle on that day, even though as the consequence, I have to work full day on Saturday.

Last week, my first friday off, I went to the mall with my nephew to watch movies. Since he was having his school holiday, I took him to the mall with me. It's been ages since the last time I took my nephew somewhere with me only. However, we ended up canceling our plan to watch Transformers: revenge of the fallen, since the cinema was full already. There were only two rows at the front left for us to choose, and Farhan didn't want to take it. So, we just browsed around the bookstore, bought some books for him, and my nieces and a dozen donuts for everybody at home. Though I happened to get snappy by the call from office asking about timetable and things, it still couldn't scratch my day off.

Yesterday, I even had a better friday off. I woke up late and had my morning coffee as I watched Dahsyat on TV. It was really nice to find myself thinking that I don't have to go to the office that day. I got myself online after washing my hair and cleaning up everything. The internet line was quite troublesome but I managed to chat for awhile. The most fun moment was in the afternoon. I went to the swimming pool nearby to accompany my nephew and nieces swimming. Starting this week, Farhan is having his swimming lesson every Tuesday and Friday. The weather was cool at 4 pm yesterday. Unfortunately I was having my period so I couldn't join them. but I plan to swim with them again next Friday.
Today, I even aleardy have plan for my next friday off. Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince will be released worlwide this coming July 15, and I think it's just a good idea to spend my next friday afternoon watching my hero. After that, I could go to the swimming pool with my nephew and nieces.
Doesn't that sound good?

crossover

I really don't like when people take me for granted. At the moment, I feel that I have been taken for granted by someone. And it is not the first time...it's the second time. I wonder if this is about me or about her, so she can easily crossover me. I start to question myself if there is something in me that makes people easily take me for granted or it is, indeed, her personality.
Well, you can say that i am exaggerating, whatsoever, but that is exactly how i feel now.
The worst is, I don't know whether it is my weakness or there is something in her that makes me so...until now I cannot express it to her that I don't like her treating me that way.

Last night, a friend of mine told me that I have been playing angelic so many times to some people, that's why they then have the idea that whatever they do to me I will feel alright. She told me that once in a while I need to just express it openly if I don't feel okay about the way they treat me.
Well, I'm not trying to defend myself, but actually I already have done what she suggested. Though I admit that mostly I express my objection jokingly or implicitly. My friend said that it was not enough, coz reality speaks that these people (in this case is her) just do not get it. They didn't think that I actually really meant it. She said that I need to state it clearly in such a way so that they understand that I AM serious.
Another possibility, she said, these people indeed get what I mean but they just know exactly that I'm not going to let things go wrong as long as I have the capability to secure things. They know it and that's why even though they feel my objection they still think that in the end I will be okay.

Maybe what my friend said is right. I guess this is one of my weaknesses. That's why lately I've been thinking of having a new work environment...thinking that maybe things will go much lighter in a new environment with people other than the ones I meet daily now...
I don't know...

How did it go?

What do you mean by 'it'?
Alright, let's talk about it one by one...

number 1
it refers to my presentation
rating= ***** (extremely important)
Thank God...it went well despite my 'sexy voice' because of continuous coughing I had. But yes, it went well. Though, honestly, having 35 minutes to deliver the result of my CAR was, indeed, not enough...heheeeee....
There were three presenters in the room supposing to present, and I was the third. The first two presenters even finished their presentation before reaching 35'...unlikely me ;p
tukang kecap juga ye gueeeee....
however, the facilitator still displayed enthusiastic face till the end o my presentation. I guess, i didn't exceed too much, heheeee...

number 2
it refers to meeting my prof
rating = **** (important)
it was`great :) It's been so many months I haven't seen her. Even though it was only few minutes, I was happy that I could see her again there.

number 3
it refers to the plenary sessions
rating= **** (important)
What do you expect?
It started at two pm. All participants just arrived from Jakarta and had their lunch. It was completely a great great effort to stay awake and listen attentively to presenters delivering theories and practice of conducting action research...GOSH!!!

number 4
it refers to shopping
rating= *** (important lah)
how come? it is just an 'important lah'?
Well, I have been to Jogja, especially malioboro several times, and the last was only few months ago. So, I wasn't too excited about the idea of doing a shopping spree at Malioboro.
It was okay... at least I enjoyed watching my friends enthusiastically buying all the things exist there =)

number 5
it refers to photo sessions
rating = ***** (extremely important)
It was GREAT!!!!...
I wouldn't miss every single moment for this one...heheeeee

All in all...going out of town for vacation and for the sake of job is completely different.
I cannot say that it wasn't fun, but i cannot say that it gave me enlightenment either...
However, at least I had a good time there with friends =)