My Hiro and My Hero

The first is The Kamen Rider, the other is master of Elder Wand

Happu Idul Fitri

Dear all friends and my blog visitors,

The time has come for every soul to purify heart,
for every man to begin a new life, and
for us to let all mistakes forgiven & forgotten.

Faith makes all things possible.
Hope makes all things work.
Love makes all things beautiful.
May you have all the three.

Happy Iedul Fitri

How External Motivation Works on Kids

Farhan just turned nine last September. Ever since he was six years old, he has been practicing fasting every year in Ramadhan. Starting his practice from breakfast to 10 a.m. three years ago, up to last year he had been able to do the fasting from Shubuh to lunch time. Sometimes he didn’t fast for the reason of not having the sahur meal. “Waking him up for the sahur meal is the hardest thing to do,” his mom said. And it seems that it is still the hardest thing to do this Ramadhan.
This year, Farhan is already able to fast until lunch time even though he doesn’t have his sahur meal. Once I challenge him to do the full fasting, but he refuses with the excuse of not having the sahur meal. “I can’t. I didn’t have my sahur meal,” he said.
Last week I bought a jar of chocolate while doing my monthly shopping. Actually the chocolate was meant for the Idul Fitri feast, until I got this idea. About three days ago, I told Farhan that I would give him three pieces of chocolate if he could do the full fasting, and would give him only one piece if he finished his fasting at lunch time. He was satisfied with one piece instead. “It’s okay,” he said. The next day, when I got back from the office, he asked for two pieces of chocolate. He said it was because he finished his fasting until three p.m. My mom confirmed it. “Alright,” I said. By the way, I also have some chocolate cookies which I also gave him in the evening.
Yesterday morning, he woke up quite early for the sahur meal. His mom said that it was because he had had long sleep during the day.
Last evening when I got back home, Farhan welcomed me so eagerly and said “Twind, I did it! I did the full fasting.” And again, my mom confirmed it. My mom told me how funny he was while waiting for the maghrib time. I gave him three pieces of chocolate.
“Can I have one more?” he persuaded
“Alright,” I said
It’s almost 5:30 a.m. now and we had just got our sahur meal, including Farhan. Just like yesterday, It wasn’t hard to wake him up the way it used to. I asked Farhan to do the full fasting just like yesterday. Can you guess his response?
“No, I’m going to do the fasting until shubuh, so I can have the whole jar of chocolate.”
How powerful external motivation works on him. Don’t you think?



*Twind is short form of ‘tante wind’, the way farhan calls me.

Happy Birthday Malika

Today is Malika’s birthday. She is a three-year-old little girl who never hesitates to express her feelings. What I mean by never hesitates to express her feelings is that she can be very-very sweet with people she likes and can be soooooo ‘jutek’ to people who annoy her. At her age at the moment, her physical and language development move fast. She’s very ‘elastic’ in running, jumping, moving here and there. She rarely stumbles or falls. In terms of language development, you cannot doubt her progress. She already knows the term ‘hang out’ for asking her parents to go out. She can sing so many children songs, full version. She often joins her sister, who is in kindergarten, studying or doing homework. She even sometimes answers questions faster than her sister does. She imitates people’s talk easily, and those she imitates most in terms of choice of words are her grandparents.

Happy Birthday Malika :)

Kebebasan Jiwa

Aku pernah menukar kebebasan jiwaku
Dengan cinta
Harga yang sangat mahal

Sempat menyesal
Sempat marah
Sempat merasa bodoh
Sok heroik!

Aku pernah menukar kebebasan jiwaku
Dengan cinta
Cinta yang harus kulepaskan
Yang kini t’lah hilang
Menguap
Seiring dengan berjalannya waktu

-angelinme-

an eight-chapter online chatting

It’s been a while I haven’t seen this particular good friend of mine. However, we still keep in touch through online chatting. Yesterday, we agreed to meet online since she said that there were seven matters she would like to tell me. Woooowww… seven matters?
FYI, even to talk about one particular matter it could take us few hours you know.. he-heeee…

It turned out that we needed two episodes to talk about those matters. First episode was from 4 p.m. until maghrib. The second one was from 9:30 p.m until past midnight. Besides the seven matters she told me, she gave one bonus information, he-heee….

Few hours talking about those things, we didn’t give any conclusions about it. She suddenly signed off without saying goodbye. Well, I guess there was something wrong with the internet connection… I get used to it, he-heeee…

Surely I wouldn’t make those points of my eight-chapter chatting public, but if you are curious to know what we were talking about… the topic of our conversation is quite simple: gossip and anger.

Marhaban yaa Ramadhan

Dari Abu Hurairah r.a. dari Nabi SAW, beliau bersabda:
“Barangsiapa yang berpuasa pada bulan Ramadhan dengan penuh keimanan dan hanya mengharapkan pahala kepada Allah maka diampunilah dosanya yang telah berlalu."

(Riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim)


Selamat menunaikan ibadah bulan suci Ramadhan.
Taqabbalallahu minna wa minkum.

-windearly-

Love and Happiness (once more)

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back.
Do not expect love in return; just wait for it to grow In their heart.
But if it does not,
be content that it grew in yours.


When the door of happiness closes, another opens.
But often times we look so long at the closed door
that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.

Love and Happiness

Love comes…
To those who still hope,
although they have been disappointed.
To those who still believe,
although they have been betrayed.
To those who still love,
although they have been hurt before.


Happiness lies for…
those who cry,
those who hurt,
those who have searched,
and those who have tried.
For only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

Mengapa Remaja Suka Menggunakan Bahasa Gaul?

Dalam berkomunikasi sehari-hari, terutama dengan sesame sebayanya, remaja seringkali menggunakan bahasa spesifik yang kita kenal dengan bahasa ‘gaul’. Disamping bukan merupakan bahasa yang baku, kata-kata dan istilah dari bahasa gaul ini terkadang hanya dimengerti oleh para remaja atau mereka yang kerap menggunakannya.

Menurut Piaaget (dalam Papalia, 2004), remaja memasuki tahap perkembangan kognitif yang disebut tahap formal operasional. Piaget menyatakan bahwa tahapan ini merupakan tahap tertinggi perkembangan kognitif manusia. Pada tahap ini individu mulai mengembangkan kapasitas abstraksinya.

Sejalan dengan perkembangan kognitifnya, perkembangan bahasa remaja mengalami peningkatan pesat. Kosakata remaja terus mengalami perkembangan seiring dengan bertambahnya referensi bacaan dengan topik-topik yang lebih kompleks. Menurut Owen (dalam Papalia, 2004) remaja mulai peka dengan kata-kata yang memiliki makna ganda. Mereka menyukai penggunaan metaphor, ironi, dan bermain dengan kata-kata untuk mengekspresikan pendapat mereka. Terkadang mereka menciptakan ungkapan-ungkapan baru yang sifatnya tidak baku. Bahasa seperti inilah yang kemudian banyak dikenal dengan istilah bahasa gaul.

Disamping merupakan bagian dari proses perkembangan kognitif, munculnya penggunaan bahasa gaul juga merupakan ciri dari perkembangan psikososial remaja. Menurut Erikson (1968), remajamemasuki tahapan psikososial yang disebut sebagai identity versus role confusion. Hal yang dominant terjadi pada tahapan ini adalah pencarian dan pembentukan identitas. Remaja ingin diakui sebagai individu unik yang memiliki identitas sendiri yang terlepas dari dunia anak-anak maupun dewasa. Penggunaan bahasa gaul ini merupakan bagian dari proses perkembangan mereka sebagai identitas independensi mereka dari dunia orang dewasa dan anak-anak.

Referensi

• Papalia, D.E., Olds, S.W., Feldman, R.D. (2004). Human development (9th edition). Boston: McGraw Hill Company, Inc.
• Erikson, E. (1968). Childhood and society (2nd edition). New York: W.W. Norton & Company Inc.

Key Characteristics of Extraverts and Introverts

Extraverts
Seek interaction
Enjoy groups
Act or speak first, then think
Expand energy
Focus outwardly
Like variety and action
Outgoing
Think out loud
Enjoy discussing

Introverts
Like to be alone
Enjoy one-to-one communication
Think first, then speak or act
Conserve energy
Focus inwardly
Like to focus on one thing at a time
Reserved
Think to themselves
Enjoy reflecting

The Energizing Preferences: Extraversion – Introversion

Extraverts are people who are energized by people: talking with people, playing with people, and working with people. Extraverts experience loneliness when they are not in contact with people. On the other hand, introverts are people who prefer solitude to recover energy. They like solitary activities, working quietly alone, reading, meditating, participating in activities which involve few or no other people. In the context of MBTI system, Extraversion doesn’t mean talkative, and Introversion doesn’t mean shy. The two words refer to whether a person gets energized in the outer world or their inner world.

Extraverts are outgoing, enthusiastic, often fast-paced, and enjoy a lot of interaction. To understand the world, they need to experience it. Their tendency is to act, discuss, or process verbally, and then act some more. They often think out loud and find it fairly easy to talk to anyone. They get rejuvenated by being with people and feel drained when they are alone.

On the other hand, Introverts are often reserved and private. They need more time to themselves and tend to conserve their energy. They want to understand the world before they experience it and often think and reflect before acting or speaking. Interacting too much with others can drain their energy. To rejuvenate, they need to be by themselves or in silence. Introverts prefer to focus their attention inward and get energized by their internal world of ideas, impressions, and thoughts.

When an Introvert and Extravert are in a relationship, the differences in their preferences can be a source of tension and conflict. They sometimes have a difficult time understanding each other. To an Extraverts, Introverts can seem withholding, antisocial, boring, and uninterested. To an Introvert, Extravert can seem pushy, intrusive, hyper, and too talkative.

Dua Noni

Beberapa bulan belakangan saya punya hobi baru. Menjelajah dunia maya :) Awalnya sih niatnya mau searching articles, journals,... yaaa gitu deee yang bau-bau akademis dan serius. Entah bagaimana awalnya saya nggak begitu ingat, saya mulai tergelitik untuk masuk ke komunitas-komunitas hobi. Singkat cerita, jadilah saya member di beberapa komunitas...
Mmmmm... ternyata asik juga ya :) Maka semakin menjadilah adiksi saya akan dunia maya ini...he-he-heee. Ditambah dengan beberapa sahabat, saya juga intens berkomunikasi via YM.

Dari sekedar berkomentar atau memberi opini di komunitas-komunitas itu, saya mendapatkan beberapa orang dari mereka yang terasa 'nyambung' dengan saya. Dengan kesepakatan, saya melanjutkan obrolan di luar komunitas yang bersangkutan. Ada yang melalui Private Message, ada yang melalui Yahoo Messenger. Dari beberapa teman yang berlanjut, ada dua orang yang sangat intens ngobrol-ngobrol dengan saya. Sebut saja A dan B. By the way, keduanya cewek loh...he-he-heee...

Saya lebih dulu akrab dengan A. Kami mulai ngobrol tema lain di luar komunitas sejak beberapa bulan yang lalu. So far sih masih urusan hobi. Kadang-kadang curhat juga :) (cewek bangeeettt). Bahasa yang dipakai ganti-ganti. Kadang bahasa Indonesia. kadang campur Bahasa Inggris. Lebih sering bahasa gaul, he-he-heeee... maksudnya seenak-enaknya kami aja gitu, selama ngerti maksudnya apa :) Along teh way, muncullah kebiasaan saya yang seneng banget memanggil seseorang dengan panggilan spesifik. Berhubung usernae A itu agak-agak repot di pronounce nya, saya mengusulkan nama panggilan baru. Nggak terlalu ingat asal-muasalnya, koq nama Noni muncul di benak saya. Lucunya, A langsung setuju meskipun nama Noni itu sama sekali jauh dari unsur nama asli dia ataupun username dia. So... I call her noni since then on.... until now.

Sekarang dengan B. baru mulai intens ngobrol-ngobrol dengan B beberapa minggu belakangan. Ya gitu deh, kadang-kadang kan kita suka nggak tau kenapa kita koq bisa enak berkomunikasi dengan orang-orang tertentu sementara dengan yang lainnya nggak begitu. Itu juga yang terjadi antara saya dengan B. Meksipun mulai ngobrol di luar topik baru beberapa minggu belakangan, tapi koq makin enak ya ngobrolnya? Maka dengan kesepakatan, mulai kemarin kami tukaran ID Yahoo Messenger kami. Hari ini kami mulai chatting. Sedikit demi sedikit mulai kenal identitas pribadi masing-masing. Akhirnya sampai ke soal nama. Untuk B, sebenarnya saya gak punya masalah dengan panggilan. Hanya ada satu hal lucu. Bisa nebak?
Ternyata nama asli B adalah Noni. Dan dia minta saya untuk memanggil dia dengan nama itu. Hi-hi-hiiii.... loh koq kebetulan gini ya?
Sekarang saya punya dua Noni, dan keduanya adalah teman saya di dunia maya. Bertemu mereka dari hasil iseng-iseng :) What a coincidence! Iya nggak sih?

What Is Personality Preference?

In terms of personality, preference is an inborn tendency to be, or to think in a certain way. Even though we change as we grow up and may seem to be different at various times, our basic personality style remains the same.
According to Myers-Briggs Type Indicators (MBTI), there are four basic dimensions of human personality, each dealing with important aspects of life. They are:

The two ENERGIZING preferences: EXTRAVERTING (E) and INTROVERTING (I).

• Those who prefer Extraverting get their energy from the outer world of people, activities, and things.
• Those who prefer Introverting get their energy from their inner world of ideas, impressions, and thoughts.

The two INFORMATION GATHERING preferences: SENSING (S) and INTUITING (N).

• Those who prefer Sensing pay attention to information taken in directly through their five senses and focus on what is or what was.
• Those who prefer Intuiting pay attention to their sixth sense, to hunches and insights, and they focus on what might be.

The two DECIDING preferences: THINKING (T) and FEELING (F).

• Those who prefer Thinking makes decisions in a logical and objective way.
• Those who prefer Feeling make decisions in a personal, values-oriented way.

The two LIFESTYLE ORIENTATION preferences: JUDGING (J) and (P) PERCEIVING.

• Those who prefer Judging tend to live in an organized, planned way.
• Those who prefer Perceiving tend to live in a spontaneous, flexible way.

Each individual has all components of the four basic dimensions of human personality. However, his/her preference for each dimension may be different. For example, people who prefer introverting also have extraverting part in their personality. As they grow up or as life changes, this introverting part may grow weaker or stronger, but this doesn’t mean that the preference changes. People often find that at certain times in their lives, particular preferences will be stronger or weaker. As people mature, for example, they develop more familiarity with their non-preferences. Even so, the non-preference never takes the place of the favored preference.

So how do we know that we prefer introverting or extraverting, for example, if we have both parts in us?
Let’s take it like this.
Stop now, and write your name the way you always do. Now write it the second time using the opposite hand. While you are doing that, pay attention to what the experience is like. Writing with the hand you use every day is effortless, and you don’t even think about it. It is something you can do woth your eyes closed. When you use your other hand, it probably feels awkward, it takes more time, and you have to concentrate more. But still, you can do it. Put simply, you do things more comfortably and efficiently with the hand you prefer, the one you use most naturally and instinctively.

next article: http://windearly.blogspot.com/2007/07/energizing-preferences-extraversion.html

Lessons You Learned

For every petal you pluck from a daisy
You are granted one measure of love
For every rainbow you find with two ends
I wish you two stars from above
For every tear you brush from a cheek
I promise you kindness will follow
Wherever you walk, under rainbows or stars
Over daisies or down lonely hollows
For every child you play with and talk to
I grant you one heart full of laughter
For every smile you place on a face
I promise you peace ever after
If you think "I" am giving you priceless gifts
Look close at yourself and your deeds
The gifts you earned are the lessons you learned
While answering othe folks' needs

-Marlene Gerba-

Patience

“orang sabar disayang Allah,” begitu kata orang. Kalau saya memngutip dari sebuah buku karangan DR. Yusuf Qardhawi yang judulnya ‘Shabar, salah satu prinsip gerakan Islam’, sabar itu adalah setengah dari dien (agama). Kata sabar juga sering menjadi kunci dalam mengatasi masalah-masalah psikologis (caela… yang ceritanya ngerti psiko nih!)

Tapi disini saya cuma mau membahas sabar dikaitkan dengan pekerjaan saya. Beberapa hari belakangan ini, saya belajar hal baru tentang arti kesabaran dalam konteks pekerjaan. Hal baru?... mmm… gak juga sih. Sebenarnya sama sekali nggak baru. Mungkin jadi baru karena hal itu kelamaan mengendap di area subconscious saya, dan baru-baru ini hal itu di activate oleh beberapa hal yang saya hadapi pada saat berinteraksi dengan mereka yang belajar melalui bantuan saya. Heemmmm… kayanya saya semakin sadar nih kalau banyak banget teori-teori yang masih mengendap di area subconscious saya yang pastinya perlu diaktivasi.

Ya sudah, jadi apa dong intinya?... he-he-he… sabaaaar. Bahkan untuk mengetahui sesuatu pun kita harus sabar, apalagi memahaminya? Menghadapi orang yang belajar dengan kita pun harus sabar.
Aduh, kalo soal sabar menghadapi mereka yang belajar dengan bantuan kita sih saya sudah tau dari dulu atuh! Nah, maka dari itu saya nggak bilang ini hal baru… bukan?
Beberapa waktu belakangan ini, entah karena banyak hal yang harus saya tangani, entah karena beberapa hal yang harus saya tangani merupakan hal baru, entah karena capek, atau karena kondisi fisik sedang kurang baik (pokoknya kalo mau cari excuse sih pasti ada aja deh) saya menjadi kurang sabar menghadapi mereka-mereka itu. Bukan kurang sabar menghadapi perilaku mereka. Kalau yang satu ini, setiap kali menjelang menghadapi mereka, saya sudah siapkan mental. Tapi kurang sabar dalam menyikapi perkembangan pembelajaran mereka. Aduh-aduh… gimana siiihh? Bukannya saya yang katanya ngerti psikologi pendidikan tuuuh?... ups..
Kejadian di kelas A misalnya. Sudah berapa sesi saya ulang-ulang expressions yang harus mereka gunakan saat melakukan percakapan. Sudah macam-macam aktivitas yang saya buat (yang juga mereka suka) untuk melatih penggunaan expressions itu, tetap saja mereka melakukan kesalahan-kesalahan yang (menurut saya) tidak perlu. Gemas! Itu kata yang saya rasa tepat untuk mewakili perasaan saya waktu itu. Harus gimana lagi dong? Kita (maksudnya saya dan mereka) harus melanjutkan materi, nggak bisa ‘ngutek’ disini terus.
Kejadian di kelas B dan C lain lagi. Kelas B dan C adalah dua kelas dengan level sama tetapi dengan karakteristik ‘penghuni’ yang berbeda, meskipun notabene usia mereka semua sebaya. Deskripsi untuk kelas B adalah nice, cooperative, and quite smart. Deskripsi untuk kelas C itu noisy, talkative, but still controllable. Kali ini bukan soal penggunaan expressions, melainkan soal tata bahasa yang memang lumayan kompleks. Waktu hal ini terjadi di kelas C, saya masih berusaha (keras) untuk memaklumi. Tapi ketika hal ini juga terjadi di kelas B (walaupun nggak terjadi pada semua ‘penghuni’), rasanya saya harus berkata-kata nih!
“I know this is quite complicated, but remember… I told you that this is one of the consequences of being in high level. You cannot just go home and drop your books in your bag, drawer, bookcase, bookshelf.. whatsoever…. And pick them up right when you want to come here.”
Huuuu… galaknya keluar tuuuhhh…

A-ha moment itu saya peroleh kemarin ketika menghadapi mereka-mereka yang berminat memiliki profesi seperti saya. Tepat ketika membahas konsep constuctivism. Aduh! Urusan gue banget tuh!... he-he-he… Saat saya berusaha menyampaikan konsep yang teori banget itu ke dalam bahasa dan konteks yang lebih mudah dicerna… a-ha! Here, my subconscious is activated. Bahasa kalbunya begini…
Eh, ingat loh, individu itu sendiri yang mengkonstruk alias membangun pembelajarannya, bukan kamu. Fungsi kamu itu adalah mengaktivasi apa yang sudah mengendap di benak mereka dan menambahkan (sedikit aja, gak bisa banyak-banyak) pada apa yang mereka sudah punya. Berbeda individu, berbeda juga kemampuan aktivasinya. Ada yang mudah diaktivasi, ada yang sedang, ada juga yang masih Pentium II (sekarang udah era core duo kan?) Ada yang mampu menampung banyak tambahan, ada juga yang cuma sedikit aja. Bersyukur kamu bisa mengaktivasi diri kamu sendiri, nggak melalui orang lain. Mungkin saat ini perkembangan konstruksi mereka baru sampai di situ... ya udah, berarti kamu harus sabar!... Naaaahhh… sampai juga kan ke kata itu.

Kesimpulannya (susah emang kalo biasa ngurusin essay writing), Being patient in dealing with their cognitive progress is the thing which was just activated from my subconscious. We are often so focused on tangible things (I mean behavior) that we don’t pay attention to the less tangible ones.

Faith is a candle

In this sick world of hatred
And violence and sin
Where men renounce morals
And reject discipline
We stumble in ‘darkness’
Groping vainly for ‘light’
To distinguish the difference
Between wrong and right
But dawn cannot follow
The night of despair
Unless faith lights a candle
In all hearts everywhere
And warmed by the glow
Our hate melts away
And love lights the path
To a peaceful new day

Brief Description of the Enneagram Types

ONE : Perfectionists are motivated by the needs to live the right way. This includes improving themselves, others, and the world around them. They try to avoid criticism by doing things perfectly. Ones have a strong inner critic or conscience, they live by an internal list of rules, and discipline themselves to do what they should do. Healthy Ones are self-disciplined, hardworking, organized, conscientious, and productive. They have high standards and moral principles. Unhealthy Ones can be rigid, inflexible, controlling, self-righteous, overly serious, and hypercritical of themselves and others.

TWO : Helpers are motivated by the need to be loved, appreciated, and needed. They take pride in their ability to make people feel special and to anticipate and to fulfill other people’s needs better than anyone else. They appear cheerful, slef-sufficient, and confident, and are often unaware of their own needs. Healthy Twos are warm, generous, empathic, enthusiastic, and nurturing, They relate easily to people, enjoy giving to others, and are capable of unconditional love. Unhealthy Twos can be manipulative, clingy, indirect, possessive, martyrlike, and preoccupied with gaining approval.

THREE : Achievers are motivated by the need to be productive, efficient, admired, and successful in whatever they do. Avoiding failure is very important to them. Life is a series of tasks and goals to be completed and they keep pushing themselves to achieve more. They are often disconnected from their deeper feelings and lose an inner sense of themselves. Healthy Threes are energetic, charming, optimistic, confident, self-assured, and competent. They make good leaders who motivate others to live up to their potential. Unhealthy Threes can be vain, overly competitive, deceitful, superficial, narcissistic, opportunistic, and prone to putting on facades to impress people.

FOUR : Romantics are motivated by the need to understand and express their deepest feelings and to discover what is authentic in themselves. They want to feel special and unique, and avoid being seen as ordinary. Their attention is focused on whatever is missing, distant, and idealized. Healthy Fours are imaginative, sensitive, intuitive, creative, and compassionate. They are introspective, self-aware, and in touch with the hidden depth of human nature. Unhealthy Fours can be self-absorbed, hypersensitive, impractical, self-loathing, moody, depressed, and envious of those who seem more fulfilled than they are.

FIVE : Observers are motivated by the need to gain knowledge and to be independent and self-sufficient. They observe life from a distance, guard their privacy and space, and avoid being engulfed by others. They feel more safe and in control when thinking and analyzing than when in their feelings. They are individualistic and not influenced by social pressure or material possession. Healthy Fives are objective, focused, calm, perceptive, insightful, and curious. They have ingenious insight. Unhealthy Fives can be intellectually arrogant, withholding, controlled, cynical, negative, standoffish, and stingy.

SIX : Questioners are motivated by the need to feel secure and in control, and to have safety and predictability. Feeling a sense of belonging and finding someone trustworthy to depend on is important to a Six. Sixes scan for danger and potential threat and anticipate where fear might arise. Some sixes are phobic and withdraw to protect themselves, whereas others are counterphobic and confront fearful situations head on, even seek them out. Healthy Sixes are trustworthy, responsible, alert, insightful, loyal, compassionate, and sympathetic to underdog causes. Unhealthy Sixes can be hypervigilant, indecisive, defensive, testy, self-defeating, paranoid, and preoccupied with worst-case scenarios.

SEVEN : Adventurers are motivated by the need to be happy and to stay busy by keeping their options open and constantly making plans for new experiences. They view life as a fun-filled adventure, yet they also want to contribute to the world. Boredom, suffering, painful emotions, and the everyday drudgeries of life are avoided. Sevens are constant seekers of excitement. Healthy Sevens are optimistic, enthusiastic, spontaneous, idealistic, curious, generous, and often are multitalented. They uplift and enliven others and are fun to be around. Unhealthy Sevens can be hyperactive, undisciplined, and have problems with completion and long-term commitment.

EIGHT : Asserters are motivated by the need to feel powerful and self-reliant, and to have control over their lives. They avoid being weak, vulnerable, controlled, or being taken advantage of. Being respected for their strength is more important to them than being liked. They are earthy and lusty, and they go after whatever they want. They tend to milk enjoyment out of life. They are natural leaders who want to make an impact on the world. Healthy eights are confident, direct, decisive, courageous, and protective of their loved ones. Unhealthy Eights can be aggressive, confrontive, domineering, self-centered, insensitive, and prone to excess.

NINE : Peacemakers are motivated by the need to keep the peace and to create a harmonious and comfortable life. They erase their own needs and priorities to accommodate others and to avoid conflict. They are disconnected from their own emotions, especially their anger. They like to merge with others and with their environment, and they gain their sense of self through these connections. Healthy Nines are adaptable, compassionate, easy-going, supportive, patient, and non-judgmental; they go with the flow. Unhealthy Nines can be indecisive, spaced-out, apathetic, undisciplined, unassertive, passive-aggressive, and stubborn.

Reference

• Baron, Renee. 1998. What type am I?. Pengin books.

The Enneagram of Personality

have an interest The Enneagram (meaning a figure with nine points) has its roots in the ancient Middle East. It was adapted as personality typology by Oscar Ichazo and Claudio Naranjo in the 1970s. According to the Enneagram, each of us possesses elements of all nine types but in varying degrees. One type is primary, though it might not jell all of our lives. We become proficient at viewing the world from one angle, but we can learn to become more flexible and balanced by emulating positive qualities of the other eight types. We begin the continual journey around the Enneagram by focusing on the four types we have the greatest connection to, our “wings” and “arrows”.
Wings are the neighbors on each side of our Enneagram number. For example, wings for number 9 are 8 and 1.
Arrows are the types at the end of the two lines that radiate out from each number. For example, arrows for number 9 are number 6 and 3.
Basically, the Enneagram sees individual as unique. Learning unconsciously toward our wings and moving along the arrows accounts for many of the variations within each type. For example, a Four-Romantic who learns more toward her Five-Observer wing may be introverted. On the other hand, a Four-Romantic who learns more toward her Three-Achiever may be extroverted. We can also move intentionally toward our wings and arrows to strengthen our traits and abilities. This helps to broaden our experience and to be able to respond appropriately to the circumstances we find ourselves in.

The Perfectionist Style

Do you...

• do your assignment, tasks, or obligations without being reminded?
• have a know-it-all attitude?
• try to control others, but not necessarily in a negative way?
• tell others better way to do things and scold them when they are sloppy?
• have an interest in causes and effects?
• take things, especially work, seriously and criticize those who don't?

If most of your answers are yes, you are currently behaving in the One style.

• Perfectionists are usually serious and hardworking. Their wings and arrows can modify this by helping them lighten up and be creative, for example.
• In order to know how to live ‘correctly’, perfectionists need to be self-critical.
• Some One-ish people know there is only one way to do everything.
• One-ish people have an image of an ideal world, which they try to implement by being conscientious, hardworking, and responsible.
• Since others don’t seem to worry as much as they do, they’re afraid to show their anxiety and vulnerability. With this pressure on them, they sometimes express anger just below the surface. It’s helpful for them to be lighten up, have fun, and develop the creative side of their personalities.
• Creating order is a never-ending job for perfectionists.
• Perfectionists often get stressed-out from trying to excel.
• They are often very serious and may not feel comfortable with those who are reckless or mischievous.
• One-ish people are strong-minded, have a well-developed sense of justice and ethics, and are not easily pushed around. Sometimes they hang onto their positions too rigidly.
• They usually have a lot of energy and are motivated to develop their skills and get the job done.
• Perfectionists can lock themselves into an analytical attitude that leaves little room for creative and feeling sides of their personalities.

The Helper Style
Do you …

• Often put other people desires first and rarely ask for what you need?
• Get hurt easily?
• Have an attraction to those with problems and enjoy giving them advice?
• Know how to get people to do what you want by helping or complimenting them?
• Like to be with other people more than almost anything?
• Get attention by pleasing or showing off?
• Seem to know what people want or need without being told?

If most of your answers are yes, you are currebtly behaving in the Helper Style.

• Two-ish people like to do things for others. They can be very kind and help those in need.
• They support and protect their loved ones.
• Helpers feel betrayed and rejected when they have problems with people.
• Two-ish people try to receive love and approval by performing well, giving good advice, helping people feel comfortable, and being cute.
• Most Helpers are well-behaved and polite—superficially, at least.
• Two-ish people may hide or deny their hostile feelings, even while expressing them.
• Some two-ish people are socially adapt. However, they may have a tendency to be manipulative, overly controlling, or bossy.
• Most helpers are extroverted and want to be seen in a good light. Some give in too easily, but others are spunky and can be extremely persuasive.
• They often are out of touch with their real desires; they may wait and see what everyone else is going to do, or they may do what they think will make others like them.
• Wanting to be with others usually motivates Two-ish people. They live in the world of relationships and feelings.
• They can read people well, and they may use this ability either for great good or to get their way.

The Achiever Style
Do you …

• Persevere to get things accomplished?
• Fit well into the social scene?
• Like to be clean, polished, and well-dressed?
• Have a great deal of energy yet become overly tired from too much doing?
• Have many abilities and interests?
• Have a quick and efficient mind?
• Seem optimistic and confident most of the time?

If most of your answers are yes, you are currently behaving in the Achiever style.

• Three-ish people are usually busy and active. They owe their accomplishments to being practical and persistent.
• They love It when people feel proud of them.
• They have the ability to inspire, coach, and talk people into things.
• Three-ish people set high goals for themselves. Many place great importance on looking really really good… and having friends who look good, so they keep track of what’s in style.
• Achievers see opportunities everywhere. Failure isn’t even an option.
• Achievers become stressed from working, competing, and being “on”
• They want to excel but they may take shortcuts or bite off more than they can chew. They want to be liked and seen as special by others, but occasionally they get into trouble fom behaving arrogantly or assertively.
• Achievers usually absorb good manners because they want to make a good impression.
• Achievers are usually popular leaders. They believe that others should—or want—to be like them, and they have difficulty understanding those who aren’t. They may be too devastated to persist openly.
• They often have many acquaintances.
• Three-ish people usually excel at using their verbal and social skills for self-promotion and self-presentation.
• They don’t like to waste time and are usually very decisive and self-reliant.
• Achievers are usually responsible about meeting their own goals but are sometimes too absorbed in their lives to meet other obligations.

The Romantic Style
Do you…

• Have feelings that are easily hurt?
• Want to be seen as special?
• Have, or want to have, a closet full of dress-up clothes?
• Soul-search and/or engage in fantasy play?
• Have a sense of the dramatic—both tragic and comic?
• Enjoy the arts and collect beautiful treasures?
• Look at things in a special, creative way?
• Seem depressed or melancholy at times?

If most of your answers are yes, you are currently behaving in The Romantic Style.

• Romantics find everyday life boring and tedious. They prefer the excitement of participating in or experiencing the theater, dance, art, and music. They also enjoy movies, the purity and loveliness of beautiful objects, what they can do with their imagination, and that which is enchanting, mysterious, and unpredictable.
• Even though Four-ish people are often friendly and warm, they sometimes feel shy and lonely. They are sometimes overpowered by their own emotions.
• Sometimes Romantics want whatever they don’t have, and sometimes they want what someone else has. Sometimes they think others want what they have.
• Four-ish people find special meaning where others may not.
  They have especially delicate feelings and can fill with shame when people are angry with them.
• They long to have a deep heart connection with a soul mate.
• The most introverted Romantics are shy, and have trouble being around with people for a long period of time.
• Romantic style people are often compliant and don’t want to offend. If they are not appreciated, however, they can feel resentful and become aggressive or say biting things.
• They tend to have strong likes and dislikes with regard to other people. They long to have a special soul mate with whom to share their inner world.
• While they can be very warm and giving to close friends, their envy can get the better of them and they may become hostile.
• Romantics have high principles and often want to save the world. The more outgoing of them engage in competition and like to argue their deeply held convictions.
• They usually have strong values and know what they like. When they forget themselves, however, it may be because they are trying to please someone else.
• Four-ish people, like their One-Perfectionist arrow, can be very conscientious. They are also not afraid of expressing their emotions, including the joyous and the sad.

The Observer Style
Do you…

• Have a quiet and shy personality?
• Like to be alone—get lost in reading or other interests?
• Have definite opinions about most things but show willingness to listen to other interpretations?
• Have an interest in how things work or in philosophical questions?
• Have a whimsical sense of humor?
• Tend to stay separate or hover around the edge of groups?
• Seem uninterested in social norms?
• Dislike it when people pry or lavish too much attention on you?
  

If most of your answers are yes, you are currently behaving in the Five style.

• Five-ish people are curious and have active minds.
• They have no problem entertaining themselves.
  They can be happy when alone.
• Since they watch and observe more than others, they may see things that others don’t see.
  Five-ish people don’t usually care about social conventions and don’t always interact easily. They may feel awkward or different from others.
• Loud or unpleasant sounds offend observers’ sensitive nervous systems. When noise is forced on them, they may take it as another form of someone trying to control them.
  They will do almost anything to avoid unpleasantness.
• One-to-one contact is often more comfortable than being in groups.
• Fives have strong consciences and want to do things according to their own principles. They don’t like it when others try to caretake or intrude into their business.
• Most fives don’t want to make waves, but they do want to know reasons for traditions instead of following them blindly.
• As the name, observers tend to stay on the sidelines.
• Fives love their privacy. Staying up into the late hours, when they don’t have to worry about people distracting or bothering them, can give them a magical feeling of freedom.
• Fives are curious and motivated to learn, but they don’t usually broadcast their accomplishments.
• For observers, anger and negativism can go underground and stuck there.
  They usually have the conscience, sense of fairness, and self-discipline to be responsible.

The Questioner Style
Do you…

• Worry about safety more than others?
• React in extreme, contradictory, or unpredictable way at times?
• Change mood often: nervous, brooding, enraged, comical, serious?
• Like to argue the opposite side from everybody else?
• Act insecure, suspicious, and frightened? Or cover these feelings by being overly aggressive?
• Try to entertain or please and get people to like him or her?
• Talk fast or in a stuttering kind of way?
• Have compassion for people who suffer?

If most of your answers are yes, you are currently behaving in The Six Style.

• Questioners can seem either shy and fearful or aggressive and fearless. They all want to feel more secure.
• They try to be loyal to themselves and to others.
• Six-ish people often get stuck in the thinking and worrying process and don’t come to a conclusion. They are usually on the alert for danger and may panic over little things.
• Questioners can also be brave, strong, quick tempered, rebellious, and antiauthoritarian.
  They can worry about everything which can lead to taking extra precaution.
• They hate flattery.
• Six-ish people usually love what is true, good, and beautiful. They can be fearful of the unknown, they need to be in control, and they tend to be pessimistic and paranoid.
• They like order and predictability but can be changeable themselves, and can go from one extreme to the others.
• They often have trouble making up their mind.
• They feel safer when they question things.
• Questioners want to know who the authority is. They like to be out in front themselves, but are usually nervous about it.
• Questioners vary more than perhaps any other styles and can be difficult to spot. They usually feel scared and suspicious inside, but some cover it up with tough exterior.
• Most Six-ish people want to do things “right” in order to feel secure.
• In getting along with others, questioners feel driven to control their environment, including other people. They may do it by being bossy or enraged or by being charming, ingratiating, and entertaining.
• Questioners have trouble making choices because they want to have certainty about the outcome. They can be very slow and agonizing for all involved, and the resulting finality of the decision can feel terrifying to them.
• They usually have a lot of energy, but they may be couch potato at times.
• Questioner-style people typically react to the unknown with fear, negativity, or panic.
• In terms of responsibility, they try to be conscientious and safe and are usually highly responsible.
• Emotional maturity may come slowly to them since their preoccupation with anxiety can hold them back.
  

The Adventurer Style
Do you…

• Wake up and fall asleep happy most of the time?
• Like to be the star?
• Like it when interesting people come to visit?
• Have a sunny disposition and an infectious laugh or giggle?
• Make lots of friends?
• Have great curiosity and eagerness for knowledge?
• Like to tell stories and jokes?

If most of your answers are yes, you are currently behaving in The Adventurer Style.

• As kids, sevens like to play and have fun with friends.
• Sevens like to do many different things. They like to keep going and find new excitement. They don’t want to be restrained.
• They are idealistic, love with the world has to offer and feel good about themselves.
• Sevens’ mind work overtime. They are often multitalented and they can have high ideals.
  In learning things, sevens prefer to learn what’s immediately applicable. They are very resourceful.
• Adventurers like to tease, make fun of, and be the star.
• Most sevens are free-spirited and good-natured. They get over upsets easily. They tend to skip over trouble, and they shun pain.
• They like fantasies, jokes, and keeping people entertained.
• Sevens will speak up for themselves in order to avoid serious confrontation.
• Adventurers do not make decisions easily. The are often conflicted or ambivalent. They may say yes to a new idea, then feel horrified that now their options are narrowed.
• Adventurers are usually curious and motivated. They typically start each day full of plans, but they don’t necessarily stick to them.
• They may demand freedom more than they can handle.
• Adventurers like doing jobs that are spontaneous. They get bored with daily routines.
  

The Asserter Style
Do you…

• Rule other children?
• Have a great deal of energy and strength?
• Always make your presence known?
• Show anger and dissatisfaction freely?
• Speak and act with authority?
• Behave exuberantly and enthusiastically?
• Give others a hard time by being stubborn or bullheaded?

If most of your answers are yes, you are currently behaving in The Asserter Style.

• Eight-ish people can be fiercely protective. They look out for their friends and defend those who cannot defend themselves.
• They take charge, but what they want most of all is to feel connected to life’s intensity. If their energy is not met through more and more fun, they may feel hurt and sad.
• Asserters do not hesitate to tell people what they think of them.
• They work hard and play hard, and hate it when people are phony.
• They can seek revenge and be intimidating, so people are often afraid not to go along with them. On the other hand, people often misunderstand and blame them or judge them wrongly for their natural exuberance.
• As students, asserters have difficulty in developing study habits
• In getting along with others, they have a sweet side and can be very thoughtful, loyal, and generous to their friends. However, many are not flexible enough to get along well. They can be too sure of their own agenda and may impose harsh judgments on others. Many carry chip on their shoulder and go ballistic if anyone laughs at them or touches their belongings.
  Asserters have a strong self image and excel at putting themselves forward.
• They usually have clear and definite ideas and almost never say “I don’t care” or “I don’t know”
• The asserter style is known for its ability to take action.
• Eight-ish people are often immature when it comes to controlling their anger.
• In terms of responsibility, eights are not usually sneaky and can be refreshingly honest. They can obey rules even when no one is supervising them. They are also good at taking care of younger or loved ones.
  

The Peacemaker Style
Do you…

• Like to watch TV, use the computer, or loll about the house?
• Inspire people to call you “sweet” or “accepting”?
• Have trouble with decisions and go along with others most of the time?
• Move and speak a little more slowly than most others?
• Get your feeling hurt fairly easily?

If most of your answers are yes, you are currently behaving in The Peacemaker Style.

• Nine-ish people want everything to stay pleasant.
• Clashes are very upsetting to them, so they try to live harmoniously.
• They can merge with others and take on the flavors of the other eight styles.
• They are usually wise, goodhearted, and understanding.
• While they usually have a mellow, relaxed personality, people can occasionally detect some anger in their voice or expression.
• Peacemakers are often slow to make up their minds because they see things from many angles.
• They often especially connected to nature. Others often see them as more easygoing than they feel.
• Some peacemakers get right down to business and study with enthusiasm.
• Peacemakers like to behave well to keep life pleasant.
• Nines are not often social leaders, though they have great value as mediators.
• They often like to work behind the scenes.
• They make generous and supportive friends and can be fun to play games and sports with, and they’re known as the greatest to just hang out with.
• Nines sometimes feel depressed, defeated, or discouraged because the harmony they seek is not easily achieved, however, they are resilient and get over it quickly.
• They enjoy sensual pleasures such as lying in the sun, sleeping, and eating.
• Peacemakers tend to give in. Their powerful Eight-Asserter and One-perfectionist wings can alter them considerably.
• Sometimes peacemakers are afraid people won’t love them if they have needs, so they put off decisions and wait around to see what will happen. When they do make decisions, they usually consider their options deeply and seriously and don’t shift their positions easily.
• In terms of responsibility, nines usually want to do what’s right and be responsible. A strong One-Perfectionist wing can reinforce this tendency.
• Sometimes they procrastinate, get side-tracked, or get stuck doing what they’re doing.

Reference:

• Baron, Renee and Elizabeth Wagele. 1994. The enneagram made easy. Harper-San Francisco.


• Wagele, E. 1997. The enneagram of parenting. Harper-San Francisco.

Itazura Na Kiss

I

I was quite late to know about this Japanese manga. I was first interested in reading this manga since I watched an Indonesian drama series based on this manga titled Cowok Impian. I found the manga much more interesting than the drama. I also found that it’s one of the famous manga in the late 90s. Besides in Indonesia, this manga has been brought into drama series in its origin country, Japan, and Taiwan.

The story
It tells about a teenage girl, Aihara Kotoko, who has fallen in love with a genius good-looking teenage boy, Irie Naoki since the first time she saw him giving speech in student welcoming day. After two years of having the feeling, Kotoko decides to send Naoki a love letter. “I don’t want it” is the rejection she gets from Naoki. Though feeling embarrassed, Kotoko decides to move on. By a twist of fate, her house collapses. She and her dad then stay in the house of one of her father’s good friend who turns out to be Naoki’s father. Here, their love story begins. The story consists of 23 volumes of manga spans over a long period of time, starting from teenage until their marriage life.

The main characters
Irie Naoki is illustrated as a good-looking teenage boy whose IQ is about 200. He is good at almost everything, from school subjects to sports. However, he is a kind of introverted and ice-cold person. He rarely smiles and hates girls for some reasons, especially the scatterbrain ones like Kotoko. At first, he doesn’t like Kotoko at all since she is not brainy and sloppy. The manga interestingly tells how Naoki’s love for Kotoko develops in each volume.
Unlike Naoki, Aihara Kotoko is a cheerful sloppy teenage girl who is far from brainy. She often gets bad scores at school and seems that many things she does would go wrong. Her persistence of loving Naoki so selflessly seems to be the core reason that shakes Naoki’s cold heart. She eventually marries Naoki and becomes a nurse working besides Naoki, as a doctor.


The Indonesian drama
Cowok Impian, the Itazura Na Kiss based drama, casts Marcel Chandrawinata and Ayudhia Bing Slamet as Kevin and Arika. The drama only takes the high-school life of the characters. It ends with Arika-Kevin reconcile after having misunderstandings for quite sometime. In the last episode of the drama, Kevin, who thought that Arika’s feeling for him has changed for Willy, decides to apply for scholarship abroad. Being a genius, he succeeds it. At the airport, when he is about to leave, Arika runs after him and tells him that her feelings for him have never changed. Unfortunately, he still has to go. He hugs her and kisses her on the forehead telling her to wait for him. They part as he is holding her love letter and kissing it. Some parts of the drama are not developed based on the manga, but in general the storyline is just the same.

Marcel Chandrawinata plays the role of Kevin (Naoki, the manga) in the Indonesian version of Itazura Na Kiss drama: Cowok Impian. Through his acting, Kevin turns to be less ice-cold than Naoki, though other personalities are generally the same. Kevin’s feelings for Arika (Kotoko, in the manga) are sometimes seen through his facial expressions and cynical comments that turn to be funny but sweet. I can say that Marcel succeeds in displaying a different color of Naoki character. At the moment, Marcel is one of famous Indonesian young celebs who often appear in teen tabloids, magazines, or TV infotainments. Many young audience seem to favor his western good looks. Since the drama ended in Feb ’07, Marcel has played in another Indonesian sinetron (drama) where, unfortunately, his acting turns out to be in a what-do-you-expect level. Perhaps this happens also because the drama story is not good enough to boost his acting (well, you know many Indonesian sinetrons are weird and unrealistic). Actually he has the talent to be a good actor, only if he is selective enough in choosing the scenario he plays in, and not takes part in a drama/movie only for the sake of being on screen in a regular basis. Otherwise, he may end up becoming a rich young celeb who is famous just for his good looks instead of his quality acting.

Ayudhia Bing Slamet takes the role of Arika (Kotoko, in the manga) in the Indonesian version of Itazura Na Kiss drama. Through her acting, the manga character seems to come into life in terms of both physical appearance and personality. Only that Arika is shown to be less stupid than Kotoko. Maybe it has something to do with culture or educational message (if there is). Instead of looking stupid, Arika is shown to be cheerful, naive and soft-hearted. She often cries because of Kevin’s ignorance and cynical comments, though these don’t fail her from going on loving Kevin. In the last episodes of the drama, Kevin seems to love her more than before. This is shown through his jealous behavior towards Willy, a good-looking young boy who cares a lot about Arika. Ayu herself is the third generation of Bing Slamet clan which is already known in the film and music industry. I think her acting talent is no doubt, since it already runs in her blood. Though her appearance on screen is not as often as some other famous female young celebs, I think this sweet young girl could be the kind of good actress in the future.

The Japanese drama
The drama title is the same as the manga: Itazura Na Kiss. It casts Takashi Kawashibara as Irie Naoki and Aiko Saito as Aihara Kotoko. The drama only takes the high school period of Naoki-Kotoko story, and a bit of after-high-school life in the last episode. The drama ends with Naoki realizes that actually he has fallen in love with Kotoko and that Kotoko is the one who has given much influence in his life. He chases after Kotoko who is about to get on the train leaving for another town. The train has left, and he thinks that it’s already too late. But when he turns his look across the railway, he found her standing there looking at him. He runs into her, hugs her, and tells her to stay and live with him. They kiss, and the drama ends.


Takashi Kawashibara plays the role of Naoki in the drama. His physical appearance here is really similar to the manga character. The drama based Naoki is also as ice-cold as illustrated in the manga. I don’t know much about Takashi, but indeed he is really handsome.

Aiko Saito is Aihara Kotoko in the Itazura Na Kiss drama. In terms of physical appearance, the drama based Kotoko is quite different from the one illustrated in the manga. In terns of personality, the drama based Kotoko is as comical as the one in the manga, even sometimes more embarrassing. Like Takashi, I don’t know much either about Aiko.

my favorites

This is Daniel Radcliffe as Harry Potter in the Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire. Actually I like the character more than the actor. However, thanks to Daniel who brings my favorite story character to life. Regardless of the pros and cons about Harry Potter books from religion perspective, I like the story for its uniqueness of presenting real life pain, joy, and values through an unreal setting (witchcraft/wizardry world). And I won’t miss his final search for horcruxes in Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows.

I like many Hollywood actors for their good looks. However, this doesn’t go to Johnny Depp. Indeed that he is good-looking in real, but I like him more for his ability to act different characters in his movies. He is good as a handicap in Edward Scissorshands, as a weird rich man in Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, as a writer with split personality in Secret Window, as a gentle good-looking man in Finding Neverland, and most excellent as Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of The Caribbean. Can’t wait to watch him in the final trilogy of Pirates of The Caribbean: At World's End

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One of my favorite Hollywood actors is Hugh Jackman. First time I saw him playing as Wolverine in X-Men: The Last Stand. Since then on I’ve never failed to feel curious about watching his movies. I’m not quite sure whether I like him for his acting or his looks :). Having seen him in the X-Men trilogy, Van Helsing, Scoop, and the last in The Prestige with Christian Bale. I think his acting is much supported by the good storyline, and I like him best in The Prestige.